![hamster facetime hamster facetime](https://www.minecraftskins.com/uploads/preview-skins/2019/07/11/kanye-hamster-facetime-meme-13174383.png)
We even had a threesome once, with another girl he was seeing at the time, and at the end of the night, when she and I were both lying on our backs in post-orgasmic bliss, he smiled down at us and said casually, “The little dick that could. At the time, neither of us were looking to get into a committed relationship, which allowed for us to have one of those pressure-free, fun flings that are often the most uninhibited and hedonistic of romances. He and I went on to sleep together for a few months. And when I recounted our sex to my friends, it was always something like, “I slept with this guy, it was awesome. At one point he even told me to “choke on it.” In my head I was like, “I could probably fit five of these in my mouth without triggering my gag reflex,” but I just went along with it and made fake choking sounds, because why not? It was hot, and fun, and sex is theater most of the time anyway. He was really dominant in bed, which totally turned me on, and his confidence prevented me from having to feel any vicarious sexual anxieties, as I had with most of the small-dicked men of my past. I sort of expected him to acknowledge it-especially given his film’s epic tiny peen monologue-but instead he just flipped me over and spanked me. It was probably the smallest I’d ever touched, with the unfortunate luck of being both short and slim. So we get into bed, and I move my hand down, and there it was-a baby carrot inside his tighty-whities. Our date turned out wonderful-he was funny, successful, hot, blah blah blah-the perfect guy. All of this was in the name of comedy, of course, but as everyone in the theater around me roared with laughter, I found myself thinking: Only a man who actually has a microscopic dick would ever write a joke like that.īut back to the filmmaker. I might have let the joke slip by unanalyzed if it weren’t for how he went into lengthy detail about the years of insecurity he’d suffered because of his tiny penis, confessing that he special-orders tiny condoms online, because even the smallest condoms available in stores are too baggy and just slip off. But then came the scene where his character made a joke about having a small dick. Look how cute he looks, moving around, and saying things like that!, I thought to myself while trying to imagine him naked. I went, and actually got butterflies in my stomach while watching him on the big screen.
![hamster facetime hamster facetime](https://snaplensfinder.com/assets/lens/hamster-facetime/hamster-facetime_meta.jpg)
After months of flirtation, he finally invited me to the screening of a short film that he’d written, directed, and starred in.
![hamster facetime hamster facetime](https://www.meme-arsenal.com/memes/b6e8e5e3d675ebfdaf8c8552b5423442.jpg)
It was a few years ago (I've changed a few small details to protect his identity), and I had a crush on a 28-year-old filmmaker who frequented the bar I worked in. Like most women, I carry around my own small-penis story, to be shared at moments precisely like this.